We need to keep this real.
Full Disclosure: the ingredients for this wonderful meal were sourced from Farmer Jacks in Girrawheen Perth. "Your go to Guy for all things porcine and visceral" My local store.
My mate's Mum made us a meal that needs Exponential notation to describe the Umami punch this dish packed. I have broken bread with the Welsh and by comparison it makes them seem like lettuce nibblers. After enjoying this dish the car in which I travelled home stank like an abattoir. Just from the exudation from my skin. I kept the socks I was wearing and could tell at a distance of a few feet, purely on the schnozz, which were my regular pongers and which had the added piggy zest. Loved it to bits BTW.
"A holodeck vista of protein chemistry and porcine disembowelment. A dish I recommend to those planning on visiting a Mosque."
Wild Pig. Barbecued. Delicious and much tastier then domestic pork. The Skin is made into a chewy "crackling" which is also marvellous.
Duck Embryos. Poached. A poached duck egg has to be one of the most wonderful dishes on this planet. The Vietnamese cuisine (as always) goes one better. The eggs have been fertilised and incubated till the embryo has developed to about the size of the yolk. They are cracked on the side of a hot pot and delivered into the broth. It is impossible to see if they writhe as they come up to the temperature where the protein begins to denature. The skeleton of the embryo gives the dish a wonderfully sub crunchy texture. You are yet to live.
Congealed Goat's Blood. Poached.
Porcupine.
Porcupine Stomach Wine.
Rat. Sans skin, Marinaded in Coca Cola and barbecued. Tender and delicious.
Seashells.
Raw Prawn.
Mouse deer. The Vietnam mouse-deer (Tragulus versicolor) is an utterly appalling creature, thankfully on the brink of extinction (it has this in common with the Australian kangaroo.) "Exterminate all the brutes!" A toothsome dish.
Lotus Wine.
Chicken heads and feet.
Fish heads. Grilled over charcoal. Dig out the tender meat behind the cheeks and suck out the aqueous humor. The rest of the fish is pretty good to. They don’t scale them but let the barbecue weld the scales to the skin and peel it off. Shame to waste the skin.
Dog. Has a pungent dipping sauce that smells like human faeces and has a profoundly umami taste reminiscent of pigs intestine . Reputedly a bit strong even for most locals. The flesh is smooth and delicious with the fat flavoursome and tender. The meat is faintly beefy but could pass for pork.
Be sure not to part wind in company after consuming this delicious meal.
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